Insecurity and gratefulness
After I was in hospital in 2017 for surgery for an ovarian cyst that was initially thought to be malicious, my life turned upside down. I physically made a speedy recovery but mentally I was made aware that existence is not something one can just take for granted. It filled me with insecurity about life and my own body. How could this happen to me while I was healthy all my life, while I was sporty, and lived a healthy lifestyle?
I had to learn to have faith again and trust in myself and circumstances when I planned my agenda. Sometimes my body let me down or sometimes my mind told me: ‘how can we really plan all these things? What if this and this happens?’. Anxiety starts from a place where one doesn’t embrace this insecurity but instead wants to control it. And this will and illusion to control everything has become a big part of how we live daily life in the Western world…
Ironically just when I was positive about all these things again and looking forward to some travels, society was hit by this corona outbreak. And now all of us are confronted with this basic insecurity of existence.
We have it all organised in Western Europe and our medical knowledge is at such a stage there are few things threatening us on a wide scale anymore, compared to the past. We tend to live in a pink coloured glasses world, planning trips and work and fun events and not paying much attention to bad things that could happen.
We sometimes don’t realise too much how special this really is!! Maybe it’s what the Old Greek called ‘hybris’: excessive self pride of men towards the ‘Gods’, us humans feeling immune to the downsides of life. Let’s all be thankful and humble about our existence on a daily base. Life is insecure. There are many things we can’t control. Let’s look forward to upcoming events, but realising every day how special it is that we can!