I’ve come to find that commitment is a scary word for many people these days. Us 21st century beings are not too fond of fixed jobs, fixed houses or fixed relationships. I’ve always predicted that with temporary work and housing contracts, we’ll also be moving towards a time where we will be signing temporary marriage contracts for 5 years or so….Casual dating is something that I’m quite succesful at, but the phase where stuff is starting to look a bit more definable is where often things halt, as if there is a societal fear of the word relationship or commitment.
I could get annoyed about this, but I have to admit I’m extremely bad at committing myself aswell. The idea of having fixed appointments in my diary gives me pressure, be it from friends, courses, work, or probably the most intense of all: a relationship (waaah!). If I had it all exactly my way I’d probably decide every single day how I felt, what I felt up to and who to spend it with. Obviously my friends wouldn’t be so happy with this. Freedom is my highest value, avoiding and lowering all expectations, like so many of us try to do.
In contrast to all the new age thinking that ‘relationships should be free of expectations’, I think expectations are actually very a normal way of human interaction, for example good expectations, in the sense of looking forward to something, and bad expectations, stress or anxiety. It’s simply impossible to have human interactions without them. I tried this for a while -after going through a time where I had to cancel often with health struggles – not willing to disappoint anyone or fail, and my life came to a complete stood still, avoiding all appointments. So far the Buddhistic new age religion ;). I think expectations also provide structure and freedom!!
Maybe we should get out of our individualistic freedom bubbles for a bit and accept that failing or disappointing other people, or even ourselves is just part of life and not to be prevented by lowering expectations all the time. To me it seems a societal thing, not only an individual thing. I wonder if you recognize this? Let’s all connect a bit more instead! Happy expectations!
It being Valentine’s week and the air brimming with spring vibes, it would be strange not to dedicate a post to the topic of love. That’s what music is about for the larger part in the end.
My songwriting ‘career’ started at the age of 16, being madly in love with someone, leading to my first song with the most basic teenage lyrics: I’m crazy about you, so I’ll sing you a song. I love you forever, ’cause I love you the most.And some prophecies in one of the older tunes Last Time about same guy: Thousand years ahead this man will meet his wife, will he sing her that song that he sang for me? By the way, I still speak to this person. They tried to let it go, to run away from there, they tried to forget it all…
I’ve always loved this feeling of romantic love, where you can really long deeply for someone, without having to take immediate action. It’s probably because I’ve also always really enjoyed my own company. I love spending time alone and the complete freedom to fill in my time as I want. I’m picky and it’s rare enough, but when I fall in love, I really do, and that often leads to new inspiration. Untill it ends… I hear the falling pieces, pieces of goodbyes. I hear the echo turning, turning on the light (Echoes in the Night)
Speaking about lyrics, I also really enjoy listening to other artists’ song lyrics. I even keep a favourite song lines list! Which song lines are your favourites? I wish you a spring full of love!
Show me one man who knows his own heart To him I shall belong (Jewel, Kiss the Flame)
I have to admit I am a big Star Wars fan. I love the whole philosophy and view on society and spirituality behind it: the ideas of the light side and the dark side of the Force. With Christmas and the winter solstice coming up we all – religious or not – celebrate the return of the light in the darkness. Something you sometimes have to search for when you are having shitty weeks or the world seems to work against you. And I had a few pretty hectic weeks on all fronts myself!
Thankfully yesterday – while playing a lovely concert for a nice audience (picture below) – working together with a deeply appreciated colleague musician, I felt able to connect back to my inner Force again and I was wondering what it is exactly that does that. I think for me it’s love and inspiration and really feeling to the core of your being who you are and what you love doing. And connecting with people who have faith in you and inspire you on your own route.
I am so thankful to have travelled together on my own path with some musicians who I really admire for what they do. People who took risks to do what they love and who live very authentically. I cherish them with all my heart for that, as they have given me a lot of life force just by being who they are, and they still do!
I hope you will all have a lovely Christmas. Surround yourself with the right people. And may the Force be with you!